I used to think that by 45 I would feel finished. Settled. Certain. Done proving.
Instead, I feel aware. Aware of how much I've built — and how much of myself is still unfolding.
I met my husband when I was 15. I became a mother at 17. There wasn't time to drift slowly into adulthood. There was responsibility. There was love. There was a quiet determination that I would build something steady.
And I did. I built a marriage that has lasted three decades. I built a family. I built a career — first as a labor and delivery nurse, standing beside women in some of the most powerful moments of their lives, and later in healthcare leadership, helping shape teams and systems that serve others.
Building became second nature. Building meant protection. Building meant stability. Building meant rewriting a future that once felt fragile.
For years, my focus was forward. On growth. On security. On showing up. On making sure the people I loved were safe and supported.
But somewhere in midlife, building shifts. The house grows quieter. The body begins to change. Ambition softens and deepens at the same time. You look around at the life you worked so hard to create and realize something unexpected: You're not done becoming.
There is a version of you emerging that isn't driven by survival or urgency. She is curious. She is reflective. She is less interested in proving and more interested in integrating.
Midlife is not an ending. It's refinement. It's choosing who you want to be inside the life you've already built.
That's what Still Building is about. Not reinvention. Not crisis. Not starting over. But growing — quietly and intentionally — in the middle of everything you've already created.
If you're 35, 45, or 55 and feeling that subtle shift — that soft recalibration inside yourself — you're not behind. You're not late. You're still building. And so am I.
A few questions to sit with:
- Where in your life do you feel like you've "arrived"… and where do you quietly feel like you're still becoming?
- Who were you building for in your 20s and 30s — and who are you building for now?
- If nothing needed to be proven anymore, what would you choose to grow into next?
If this reflection resonated with you and you'd like to stay connected, you can email me directly at stillbuildingpodcast@gmail.com. I read every message.